Learning to wait well- toddlers

In my experience most children find it tricky to wait. There is always something important to ask, or say, or point out, and children love to share these things with those around them. Its so important that we give our children the time and encouragement to have their thoughts and opinions heard, but they also learn that there is a right time to do it.

Children try all sorts of different ways to be heard, whether raising their volume, standing in the line of vision between two people talking, repeatedly saying their adults name, or tapping them for attention. However, often these result in a negative interaction - 'stop that', 'just wait', 'what???' The child cant express themselves and now as the adult we are feeling frustrated.

In teaching your child how to wait well, you are able to build their patience, strengthen your relationship and teach them to respect others time and interactions.

So here's a little trick. Simply teach them to hold your hand.

In doing this simple action, you can continue your sentence, or listening to what the other person has to say in conversation, but you can also respond to your child's need. They hold your hand, you give it a little squeeze to let them know you've understood they want to tell you something and then at the earliest opportunity you can direct your attention to them.

Now this does take a lot of practice and consistent reinforcement. I'd usually start by explaining that this is what we are now going to do. Then put this in to practice with another adult. Say a very short sentence to the adult and then turn your attention to your child, praising them for 'good waiting!'. From here you can either build up the time, or continue to reinforce what you'd like them to do. After a lot of practice and praise, you'll find that your little one will start to get the hang of it.

There is an important exception to this rule, if they need help, someone is hurt or they need the toilet! some things just can't wait!! but when they can, this can really help everyone feel valued and heard, building up the all important skill of learning how to wait well.